


This Doesn't Even Happen in Romcoms

by callipygian42



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Meet-Cute, all the cliches, coffee shop AU, rude customer trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 11:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12506204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callipygian42/pseuds/callipygian42
Summary: This is the second thing I've written in the past 15 years or so. It's slightly longer than the first, so that's neat!It's short and silly, based on a story in a facebook group about unbelievable things people post on the internet. The title is from a comment on that post.Any feedback on style, voice, pacing, "plot", etc would be so sincerely appreciated.Thanks for reading!





	This Doesn't Even Happen in Romcoms

Castiel was resetting the pastry case, pushing muffins to the front and making sure the croissant basket was full, when he heard someone clear their throat. He hadn't even heard the door open.

“Good morning. What can I do for you…” He'd meant to say “today” at the end but had just trailed off when he saw the man at the counter. Holy shit. Had he been carved out of marble and come to life? He finally remembered to close his mouth when he realized the man in front of him was talking.

“... and the biggest black coffee you got” Castiel recovered and in his best customer service voice said, “I'm so sorry, I just caught the large black coffee. Can you repeat the first part?”

The man rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, “It's not for me. Uh. A large pumpkin spice latte, half caf, extra whip.”

Castiel saw the opening, “I just wanted to make you say it again.” The wink probably wasn't necessary, but when the man blushed Castiel was happy he'd snuck it in there. “And what's your name?”

The man seemed caught off guard by the question. “Oh, hey. I'm Dean.”

Castiel reached for a marker and the man extended his hand, he pulled it back quickly and rubbed the back of his neck again. “Yeah, right. For the drinks,” he mumbled but Castiel caught it.

He passed the empty PSL cup to Meg, she had six lined up before she'd get to Dean's pumpkin spice, he hadn't realized drive-thru was so busy. “That's gonna be $6.41, Dean.”

Dean handed him his card, Castiel slid it quickly and passed it back to Dean with his receipt, he may have intentionally brushed his fingers over Dean's but it also may have been an accident, at least that's what he hoped Dean would think.

“Thank you. I'll grab your coffee and your pumpkin spice will be up just a minute”

“It's really not for me, man.” Dean said with a little smile.

“Sure,” Castiel said with a little nod as he turned around to fill the regular coffee from the urn behind him. He still had the marker in his apron. In a moment of madness, Castiel did the most cliche thing he could think of, he wrote his phone number on the cup. He quickly covered his shame with a sleeve, turned back around, and with sweaty hands, handed Dean his coffee.

“Thanks.” “No problem.”

Their eye contact lasted a second too long, Dean looked like he was going to say something, but instead brought the coffee up quick for a drink and turned away to walk to a table to wait for his other drink. Castiel let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He hoped Dean didn't fidget with the sleeve. He didn't want him to notice the number while he was still here. He risked a glance, Dean was looking at his phone, not touching his coffee. Safe so far.

"Excuse me!” a man said loudly from the pick-up counter.

Castiel glanced over, “Can I help you?”

“Yeah. I'd like some service! I've been waiting five minutes and no one has bothered to help me.”

“Well, that's the pick-up counter, sir. I'll take your order over here, whenever you're ready.”

“I've been ready!” he's nearly shouting as he stomps over to the register. “I need a vento macchiato with coconut milk and whip cream, two frappucinos with no ice, and a iced americano with extra foam”

Castiel’s head nearly exploded. “I am sorry sir. I'm going to have to clarify a couple things before I can start that for you.”

“Weren't you listening??” the man was nearly shouting again, “I need a vento macchiato…”

Castiel interrupted, “Do you mean “venti” like the size? Ours are a little bigger we do 22 ounce for our large. I know Starb…”

“Did I say venti?? I said VEN-TOE MOCK-EE-AH-TOE”

“Sir, that's not a thing.” Castiel’s customer service voice was gone. Sastiel was coming out. “Neither is a frappucino without ice, and there's no milk to foam in an Americano and why would you put steamed milk on ice anyway? And we don't even have frappucinos. This. Isn't. Starbucks.”

The man currently in front of Castiel was fuming, if he were a cartoon, steam would be coming out of his ears. “You! Who do you think you are? You make minimum wage and think you can talk to ME like that?? I'll get my drinks the way I want them and I'll get you fired! You uneducated millennial brat!”

Castiel can feel tears forming in his eyes, static buzzing in his ears. The things this guy is saying aren't true, he's shift lead and makes decent money, he's starting his grad program in two weeks, but everyone is looking at him and there's no sound except for this middle-aged douche bag screaming abuse in his face and the pounding of Castiel's heart in his ears. He's starting to panic. He can feel the panic attack coming on when **crash** a table flips in the seating area.

Suddenly there's another voice, “I may have just got out of prison yesterday, but I ain't afraid to go back. Leave him alone or I'll kick your ass, dick!”

Dean is shouting as he stalks towards the guy. He doesn't get three steps before the man at the counter runs for the door. The whole lobby claps, Dean turns and bows. Meg lets out a whoop and Dean shoots her a finger gun and a wink. Castiel is just standing there shocked. His body still in panic attack mode.

“Hey, sorry, man. I made a mess but I had to say something. I fucking hate bullies. My dad...nevermind. You got a mop? I kinda spilled my coffee.” Castiel finally registers Dean is talking to him. “Maybe you should go sit down. You okay, man?”

“Castiel.”

“I don't know what that means. Man, are you okay?” Dean is practically leaning over the counter.

“It's my name. You keep calling me ‘man’, but I'm Castiel”

Dean laughs with his whole body. “Oh, Castiel, huh. You had me worried. I'm gonna go pick up my mess. I'll just use some napkins to get the coffee.”

Dean rights the table, pushes in the chair, throws his crushed cup in the trash without looking under the sleeve first, and starts soaking up the spilled coffee with a handful of napkins. Castiel comes over with a fresh cup of coffee and a mop.

“So, how long were you in prison?” Castiel asks, eliciting another laugh from Dean. Castiel's a little confused, he didn't think most people found their having been in prison so funny.

“Oh, man. I wasn't. Never have been. Got picked up once or twice when I was a kid, but nothing serious.”

“Pumpkin spice latte for Dean” Meg calls.

“Well, that's me. Nice meeting you, Cas.” Dean claps him on the shoulder. “This is a story for the grandkids.” he laughs again and walks over to grab the latte.

Castiel watches him go outside, hand the black coffee to a tall man in a suit on the phone, and take a big drink of the pumpkin spice latte. Castiel knew it was for him all along.

 

About two minutes later, Castiel’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

Text from 555-1234 “So, I can't ask you out for a coffee but maybe you wanna grab a burger after you get off?”

Text from 555-1234 “This is Dean btw”

Text to 555-1234 "Hello, Dean."

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second thing I've written in the past 15 years or so. It's slightly longer than the first, so that's neat!  
> It's short and silly, based on a story in a facebook group about unbelievable things people post on the internet. The title is from a comment on that post.  
> Any feedback on style, voice, pacing, "plot", etc would be so sincerely appreciated.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
